ethical dilemmas, part two

gifts, money, and the ethics of street chaplains

I’m going to return here to two major ethical dilemmas that are present when working as an interfaith street chaplain. As I had mentioned in my previous article, street chaplaincy work is intimately intertwined with material and physical lack. The day to day lives of unhoused folks are often pointedly marked by what they do and do not have; because of the intensity of survivalism in which they live, their material possessions, the things they buy, find, or steal, hold an even heavier social value than your average housed person. Most of the service providers an unhoused person will interact with on a weekly basis will have some connection or ability to provide material help. A street chaplain is included in this, as we often have connections to other organizations or donations where we can meet some basic needs. But more than any other service providers, a street chaplain has the least material / physical access. This gives us a unique opportunity, as well as fodder for some interesting ethical dilemmas. 

There’s a few things here. First, in general, it was advised to me by my mentor in my early days as a chaplain to not receive gifts from clients. That tends to be a standard for most chaplains. 

However, as a street chaplain, you will likely get offered things all the time. I’ve been given a wide array of material objects, from painted rocks and pinecones to beautifully woven rugs found on the side of the road. Even though I was warned early on to never accept these gifts, I almost always have, with gratitude. My boundary is that I will not receive any food or something of high value or clearly stolen. But, when it comes to small gifts, I personally have never had an ethical boundary around it– but that doesn’t mean I haven’t run into some weird situations. Here’s why I don’t mind, and why it could be a problem:

Like I said above– material possessions hold a distinct power and currency amongst many who are unhoused. When building a relationship with someone, a street chaplain may find themselves being offered gifts. This, in my experience, has been a sign of care and a way of saying that you’re significant to someone. I have found that many who are unhoused have a level of generosity that you won’t find amongst people with homes and financial security. To receive a gift from an unhoused friend is a powerful, bonding thing, and one that can be a truly positive experience for both of you. I have found that many people who I work with have clearly enjoyed giving me a little bracelet, or a card they found in the trash, or a cool plastic skull. Oftentimes these gifts have come my way because something about the item reminded them of me, and they wanted me to have it. Gift-giving is not only a form of generosity, but a way of expressing care, love, and seeing. There are some folks on the streets who I have worked with who, quite simply, love to give away things. One woman, a friend who I care about quite deeply, would walk around dressed in the most outrageous, colorful outfits. She always had hats and sunglasses, jackets and cool shoes. And every time I saw her, I would walk away with something– she insisted upon it, and would be outright offended if I tried to refuse (which I often did). People may wonder whether it is ethical to receive a gift from someone who has almost nothing. I would argue, first and foremost, that giving and receiving is a sacred practice that humans have been doing for a very long time. In modern times, we just think of it as “giving presents”, with capitalism marking the experience. But on a spiritual level, to give and receive is a profound act of selflessness (the giver) and self-love (the receiver). It is an experience that fills the cups of both parties, and can strengthen connections and bonds. 

This is the majority experience I have when it comes to receiving gifts from unhoused friends. I have also had experiences (significantly less, two times come to mind), where someone gave me something, and then immediately asked for something in return (practical help). In these scenarios, the folks were using the currency of their community (exchange) in order to try and get help. It makes sense that they did this, because in their world, trading can often get you what you need. I didn’t take offense to it, and was happy to help them with what they were looking for (it was system-navigation help); but the biggest mistake I made in those situations was I failed to clarify with the person that they did not need to give me anything to receive help from me. And that perhaps is the biggest ethical concern when it comes to gift-giving and receiving. It’s important to clarify with folks that gifts are not necessary to receive my care and aid. 

I will add another complication here, which is that I generally do not advise street chaplains to give gifts to the unhoused folks they work with. Occasionally, I have bought coffee for someone, and will often get spiritual books for people, but other than that, “gifts” are not part of my work. I will absolutely give supplies (sleeping bags, socks, tents, clothes), food, sweet treats, and other resources when I have them. But I see that less as gift giving, and more so as part of my work as a street chaplain. Rarely will I go out of my way to give someone a beautiful necklace or something of the like, because that will skew my role as a street chaplain, and potentially make others that I’m working with feel  jealous, angry or confused. It is not an appropriate thing to do. 

The ethical boundary to walk here, I believe, is truly on a case to case basis. If an unhoused friend is constantly giving me gifts, then I will begin to inquire as to why: could this person feel deeply grateful and want to express their gratitude? Is this person trying to level out the power dynamic between us, by gaining more social currency? Is this person trying to gain something from me? Is this person simply just expressing themselves and who they are? It often helps to have a conversation with the person, if possible, to understand their intentions more. Once I have an answer to why, then I will proceed with the most ethical boundary that honors who this person is and what their interpersonal needs are. 

Another piece of this puzzle is money. Point blank, a street chaplain should never give money to anyone while they are working. I fully support and encourage local community members to give their unhoused neighbors money, and believe that this is an essential and kind thing to do when possible. I also encourage the organizations and congregations out of which a street chaplain might work to give folks money; but it is my belief that that money should come from another’s hands. Money complicates relationships, whether we like it or not, and can bring a very specific energy to a relationship, particularly between a street chaplain and an unhoused friend. Money can warp a relationship to become transactional, it can increase power dynamics (which is exactly what we don’t want as street chaplains), and it can imply favoritism. Giving money as a street chaplain puts you in a position where you have the power and authority to decide who gets money and who doesn’t; the entire purpose of a street chaplain is to get on the same level, the human level, with the person who is living outside. Being the keeper and distributor of money will absolutely change your power dynamics, whether you want it to or not.  

There’s so many sides to this conversation, and I’m curious about what other street chaplains have experienced and think. I wouldn’t be surprised if others have different opinions. Money and material items, according to some street chaplains, are an intrinsic part of our ministry. In an ideal world, I would argue that shouldn’t be the case— but resources / support are hard to get as an unhoused person in the US, and everyone who can help, should.